Fix

We were the angels in despair, the glorified city in ruins;
We aspired for greatness like the shattering of death.
We were the knights to defend the homeless plebeians;
We were without beginning and end, fixed in the center.

A pitch-black night pierced with the cold—I exhale carbon and oxygen;
Glorious home devastated by the wars and the people…
So many dead and so many lost; I too lost many in the fire.
They established something new, something different—
“We will rebuild our fallen nation and rise above the stars!”
Such falseness, such scorn I feel for strangers.
But for those like me, who can bear no more loss,
We grieve homeless in the night and they watch us bitterly.
I’m a product of life; I’m a product of war; I’m a product—
I am Subject FRK, one of many street urchins.
They captured us like vermin, pronouncing a new statement
—meant only for our ears: “We will fix you!”
Because we dirtied their streets, because we didn’t…
Fit in like everyone else.
Family and friends gone to the fire, my face left scarred and shiny.
A Quasimodo of their new empire—
No hope to coexist with the normal people.
Normal being those who stood proud after the destruction,
And who were beautiful.

We smothered the burning fires and revived the dried banks.
You lay in the wake of our rejuvenescence, tainting the masses.
We reached for perfection amid destruction.
You scored the grounds like a living plague.

Then a dangerously silent night—that should’ve been the clue—
The signal—of imminent danger in the setting of midnight.
I felt nothing as I drifted along the frost until—
Bam! Hey, where did everything go? Why can’t I move?
Enter the plainest room in existence: white and blinding.
No furniture, no windows, no cracks
—a perfect cube coffin.
Two days pass without signs of people or life;
I piss and shit into a sad little corner of my prison.
After the fifth day my mind begins to slip.

We are the voices of an ancient government buried too long;
Endless wars waged over the last precious resources and we finally won.
Oh, such a tiring crusade but we emerge victorious!
The denizens were hapless and weak,
Ready to embrace any type of offered stability.
And we made promises, oh yes, we did, and kept them too.
But for those soulless creatures with their gruesome wounds,
We have little sympathy.
Dispose them!
We are the knights to defend the homeless plebeians,
We are the executioners to send the disfigured
—into oblivion.

You cried and cried for days on end, waterfalls trailing down your face;
You sought the shapeless window beckoning you with whispers of death.
You forgot nothing and everything, transfixed with rage and pain—
You, oh, you didn’t think and then the words fell away.

Ohgodohgod why are they doing this to me? I scream, I shout,
I cry, I weep, I punch, I kick, I want to destroy everything—
Let me go, damn you!
I’m human, I’m a man with nothing and you stick me in a cage?!
No light, no food, no air, I’m choking on my own saliva—
i need to get out i need to get i need to get out i need to get out

We collected you for the benefit of our budding nation.
You were a caged beast, lost and struggling, until you burst free.
We never knew what went wrong or how you changed.
You never knew what went wrong or how you changed.

We are the harbingers of peace and prosperity; we will not allow any filth
Taint the foundations of our city, our people, our history.
You are but the painful reminders of all we have lost, you pitiful people.
We regret your losses, but everyone has experienced loss;
It is most unfortunate you bear the physical evidence.
Thunderous roaring for days on end, those attacks trapped you—
Are we correct?
It is amazing you are alive still, and we have the means to keep you safe,
Keep you healthy and safe—do you truly wish to be a public spectacle forever?
We will grant you privacy and asylum; we understand and only wish
—for your well-being.
We ended the war and now begins the reconstruction; do you really think we would
—lie?
To further aid your rehabilitation we will have the best doctors
Examine you a little, perhaps a poke here and there, some experimental treatments—
Oh, do not fret! It is nothing that will harm you!
We push for the future and we want you with us,
But you need time and recuperation; we will grant you these,
So will you not allow us this privilege?

Of course, what we want we always get.
You despicable creatures will come even without us speaking
—pretty words.

Why am I covered in blood? This isn’t my blood, this is…
Oh God…the children, the women…
What have I done?! No, no, they took me, they changed me,
I didn’t—I couldn’t—I would never—but—the blood—the memories
—I’m a monster.
youarethemonsterscreamingandmurderingtheinnocentswatchout!

We never prepared for you to attack.
You saw a glimpse of a soul for the first time in thirty years.
We were blinded by arrogance and underestimated you.
You saw your chance and freed yourself.

We were astounded and highly displeased; we had no idea how it happened.
You killed our men and women like they were mere toys.
All these years imprisoned, yet your strength never waned.
The experiments showed you as nothing but failures.
You would not cultivate our toxins, our poisons for the enemy.
But we saved you out of pity; there was no harm in brainless subjects.
You deceived us.
You tricked us.
You embarrassed us.
For that, how many lives lost? The experiments should have restrained you,
Made you weaker and barely mobile, but you were a singular wonder.
The pathogens enhanced your strength over time—
We noticed you seemed especially violent during odd intervals,
Mutilating your body further, throwing yourself at the walls,
But those short occurrences always ended with you catatonic.
We went for our biweekly checkup with the doctors when you
—seemed to be asleep
—seemed to be at peace.
But you were awake and waiting.
And you ripped us apart.

Fellow brethren, we made a terrible mistake and it is likely,
We have unleashed something truly monstrous.
We wanted only to fix you, to make you better.
As you were you did no good for anyone; we gave you purpose.
We had plans and ideas.
We were the foolish gods banished from paradise.

People keep running away from me it’s hilarious!
Look at their shock and disgust, fear and horror!
I’m only walking, people, why so surprised?
Oh, is it the blood? The random pieces of insides stuck on my clothes?
You know it’s funny…the human body
—so weak and gooey!
There’s this buzzing going on in my head—man, what did they do?
pleasestopthispleasestopthisidon’twanttohurtanyonestopstopstop!
But I want to keep going, to charge—charge—charge—I’m on fire!
Like…like…there were people…before everything changed, when I was…
Well, fuck that!
Hey you
—don’t run away from me! What? Oh, this?
Come on, I can hardly help it if he got in my way; I needed to punish him.
I mean that’s only justice, right? The world is all about right and wrong;
He wronged me and now I’m getting my just compensation.
It’s not like he really needed that hand.
Oh, you’re overreacting I swear! You don’t need to run away!

It’s funny ‘cause these streets look really familiar but I just can’t…
Oh hey, you! YOU, I know! About a million of you guys tried to stop me!
What a strange place that was… And that room too? The white box?
Then it just opened and whoosh, you were all there!
Don’t know why, but you guys just piss me off like nothing else—
Didn’t mean to cause so much blood.
—forgive me?
This new world is all about second chances, right?

We erred in releasing the prison.
You were never more alert.
We checked the monitors and it showed such steady signs and pulses.
You were astonished when the box began to open.

In the dawning of the day I grow aware
—of the lonely back alley, the only place in the city still reminiscent
—of the wars, of death, of the loss.
I believe my mind crumbles and I have no control;
There’s a voice back there even right now, screaming, yelling,
letmeoutgoddamnitorelseiwillkillyouandthentheresgonnabenothing
My body bends oddly and I examine myself for the first time.
Wrinkled skin where it used to be smooth, hair a dingy gray and straggly,
A mess of new scars, not from the wars, crisscross my arms.
When you’re in a white room like that, you lose track of all time.
I’m not as young as I used to be—hell, I’m not young at all.
I suppose they wished for us to just die out, keeping us locked away forever,
Until we just croaked.
Why the hell did they open the box? I could’ve dealt with insanity alone—
But now the rest of this sad world shares it with me.
hahahatheresnowayyouregettingridofmebuddy
There’s only one solution I can see to end the suffering, for myself and others,
What were those famous words again?
To be, or not to be: that is the question.

We chased and sent warnings.
You killed and killed.
We pondered our mistakes in the wake of the slaughter.
You found yourself in the end and asked us politely—
Knelt before us plaintively,
“Please, kill me.”
We obliged.

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